The Things I Cannot Control

We’re faced with constant choices.

We can choose to be any million of things throughout our lifetimes and we’re faced with a moment-by-moment choice of how we’re going to feel about the world around us.

Yesterday, events in Boston connected us as a continent and global community and once again we’re faced with choices.

We were reminded of how we’re very much the same and that there is so much outside of our control, in one fell swoop.

Reasons to love one another. Reasons to fear one another.

Maybe it’s just being a part of what some people call the “9/11 generation” which grew up with fear and uncertainty as the norm.

Wars. Shaky economy. Job uncertainty. More threats of war. Career promises taken from beneath our feet. Acts of horrifying violence.

And those are just what make the news.

Not included are the heartbreaks that shake our understanding of the world even further, considered the “normal” growing pains.

Betrayal. Lies. Deceit. Heartbreak. Infidelity. Disappointment. Changing our minds. Moving on.

The messages we’ve gotten have consistently hammered the point home, time and time again.

Nothing is for sure.

What does that leave us with, other than a reason to be fearful?

How can we love when we have to give a part of ourselves we don’t know will come back to us or be within reach?

How can we love when it hurts to watch others feel pain?

While meditating yesterday I was trying to shake visions of the streets afterwards that were popping up in news reports and on Facebook, where I was unable to stop the stream of them. I had to take a step back because I know how sensitive I am to mere sights of extreme fear or violence and took stock of the contents of my heart.

It’s important to remember that you can always log off.

I wrote this in a moment of going within and asking the question, “What does this leave me with?”

I am the only thing I’m sure of.

That is enough. 

I don’t need the world to be a steady place because I am steady.

I can rely on my steadiness.

I don’t have to be sure of the world in order to love in it.

Fear doesn’t have to live here.

I can choose to focus on more love.

There is nothing to fear because I’m not alive to avoid the things I cannot control.

Were that true, I would have left long ago.

The things I cannot control are here to teach me.

Patience. Cherishing. Gratitude. Pause. SavoringAppreciation.

To train my focus to that which makes my life expand.

If I am here, what can I do?

How can I help from here, so removed from it all, yet still fearful,

that ‘any day now’,

that ‘it could happen anywhere’,

that if I choose to live a life bigger than fears and be exposed,

that I will one day be running my race and find my world changed in a second?

Live like love is the only thing because,

Love is the only sure thing.

Love is the force that drives us to act when we don’t know how. 

Love  connects us even when we want to keep ourselves tucked away.

Love is what’s left.

Love picks up the pieces and rebuilds broken pathways.

Love will mend this for them in ways you cannot know from here.

Love is the sure thing.

We understand it only when we first lose,

That the love we seek is waiting to swallow us up with the same intensity as the fear.

There is nothing I can control about the world outside.

But I can control my reaction to it.

Always.

I’m here, I’m breathing, I am able to respond. 

How shall I answer,

When fear comes to call.

Love is the sure thing.

And so went the entry in my journal before bed yesterday.

We cannot control others. We cannot control the world. We are the only sure things, because love is, and it is the ‘stuff’ of which we’re made.

We do not choose love, because love chooses us either way.

We choose thoughts that let it shine through us or disconnect ourselves from it. That is all.

When I say that my prayers and thoughts are with any of the tragedies that took place over the past few days (The Boston Marathon, the earthquake in Iran, the violence in Syria, the car bombings in Iraq or the myriad personal struggles that people experience everyday that they courageously navigate even though their experience never makes it to the news), it means that I’m sending my love by staying connected to my love, because I am still here.

Only when I’m connected to that place can I give anything of value.

Only when I remember my strength can I remind others of theirs.

When I say that I’m praying for those affected, it means that I’m envisioning a life made more extraordinary through tragedy because the people affected had a strength so great that it refused to quit. I look forward to reading the stories of triumphs and personal successes that came about because of this. I’m visualizing the afternoon where next year at this time I turn on the television and see those who lost limbs, still running because they know they are bigger than fear.

When I send loving thoughts out, I’m choosing to see how much more we’ll all become, because we made the collective choice that love is the sure thing.

Yes, it is safe to say that the world is still a beautiful place.

Love is the tree which takes deep roots within us so that when winds blow, its appearance may shift, yet it still stands tall.

The winds do not stop blowing, because of the roots.

The winds are sure, but it becomes clear that the tree is steadier than the winds.

And so it is with us.

Remember that those roots are within you, growing wide and deep.

Do not mistake yourself for the wind.

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On The Wings of Miracles,

~Cheryl~

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