Justification is a subtle way we attack the world.
We try to mobilize the world around us into action by virtue of our glorious explanations.
It’s time to tell a new story.
It stops us from needing to take action and move in the direction of that which we cannot completely trust; the direction of that which scares us.
Justification is the surest sign we see ourselves through glasses tinted with a thick coating of “I’m not good good enough”, for if you were, your desire for something would be sufficient.
When we justify, we are attacking others and ourselves,by saying that we believe in lack; that the world we walk upon does not support us.
That it is an angry one. That we’re not safe. That we’re not enough.
And if we don’t think we’re enough, here’s the crazy part: no one else will be enough either.
We will constantly be judging others as being insufficient.
We start defending ourselves and constructing weapons from our words to use in the moments we feel our dreams and hopes are under attack. We strike first. We strike back.
If you’re the only one who can change your perception and the dreams you dream are of your own making, what do you need to defend?
Yourself against others?
Because you don’t believe you’re enough and that you’re supported in what you desire?
Your dreams from other people?
Because you don’t believe that there’s enough to go around?
That you live in a world where other people have more power in your life than you?
There is nothing to defend.
You can’t defend yourself against yourself.
There is only one you, in which your thoughts and perceptions live. Which thoughts you think and which perceptions you choose to believe in are just that: of your own choosing.
The tough truth: believing anything else is failing to take responsibility while also denying yourself a better quality of life. You won’t wake up one day, to the dream life you think about, while hating everything around you. It’s a consistent, day-by-day choosing and it is always your own.
It’s worth remembering the difference between talking about why you want something and why you deserve it, because the words used are fundamentally different.
It builds a great vocabulary that lends itself to the dialects of shame, blame, and guilt.
Blame says, “Someone else did wrong, so I have to explain…”
Guilt says, “I did something bad and have to justify why I deserve to have this.”
Shame says, “Who I am is wrong so I’ve got to explain my way to what I want.”
I just…; I only…; Because…
All of these, we use in anger towards ourselves.
Think of these things as the beginning of sentences which try to convince the world that you’re awful, because it’s really what we do when we speak this way.
The common denominator here is us. We together. You. I.
Which is good because it means that as long as we’re breathing, our world can be as amazing as we believe.
Whenever I felt like I wasn’t getting what I needed, it wasn’t because someone was keeping it from me.
I was investing my time in people and places that could not meet my needs.
So go ahead, think dangerous thoughts…
That I want this is enough. My desire is all I need to know. If someone won’t show me love and support, I don’t have to explain. I don’t have to tell them anything at all. Not everyone has to join me in my joy. That I feel it is enough. I’ll take the first step and share why I want it, not why I deserve it.
“What if I don’t have those people around me now?”
Well, change the question- “What do I do, to find supportive people?” or “How can I become the person I’m looking to have as a friend?”
It won’t happen overnight but I can promise you this:
the moment you commit to changing your world by changing yourself first, the Universe starts conspiring to make your dreams a reality.
I know, because I lived it. Still do.
Life is precious and because I only get 24 relatively certain hours to work with each day, I’ve stopped investing in my excuses to keep non-supportive people around me and begun investing in situations that honor me.
What does that mean, exactly?
That I have a dream doesn’t mean the entire world needs to know. Being selective in sharing it is an act of self-love.
Be choosy. You’re allowed. This isn’t some dress rehearsal where you have second chances. You only get one life!
When you invest there, the supportive people seek you out because they’re looking for their flock. You become the supportive person you wanted to have in your life. It means that what’s on the inside has shifted and is becoming the alchemical, magnetizing force for the dreams you’re manifesting.
I’m just going to go ahead and think dangerously:
I highly doubt that you were put here to explain why you deserve what you want.
If you were, your desires wouldn’t move all of us so deeply.
So go, think dangerously, too.
Want things with such passion that it sets the dreams of others ablaze and lights up the skies.
You would not be given the want, if the way were impossible.
On The Wings of Miracles,