Day 5: Saying Yes

Surrender has come to look a lot like the act of saying yes.

I can’t take credit for it, because it’s a principle and basic rule of improv comedy, to constantly say yes to the person you’re performing with.

The world transforms when you say yes to it.

And life has a way of figuring out the rest.

We are a species that longs to define everything. It helps us understand what we’re experiencing, so it’s reasonable that we do it, but what about when it closes us off completely?

Saying yes to opportunities you cross paths with is also like saying, “Universe, I trust you.”

Granted, there are some chances we get that we don’t always need to say yes to, but the majority of what I’m learning is that if it fits, it echoes a truth you feel in your bones, then it’s worth doing or trying. When we hold something away from ourselves because we don’t know it, without realizing it, we close ourselves off to friendships and experiences we could not fathom having.

Once I stopped trying to make my experiences fit my vision of what I thought would be best, I found the most freedom. Ironically, the greatest experiences I’ve had so far have come as a direct result of saying yes where I would’ve otherwise said no. If I had thought to myself that photographing people was something I wanted to do more than events, would I have the same opportunity to photograph the mayor of Mississauga, Ontario? Probably not. If I was fixed in my desire to be married to only one person my entire life would I know the strength and courage I have within? Chances are, I would have stayed miserably desolate and in an unhealthy situation. I often kept to myself, the story of my coming out and the backlash from it as a Christian because it didn’t fit the vision I thought I had of how to help the most people in the LGBT community, which I hold near and dear to my heart. However, in doing so, I was able to reach so many more people by virtue of doing a recent TV segment where I talked about self acceptance and faith.

None of those things looked the way I thought they would originally and yet, they were exactly the things in alignment with how I wanted to feel in my life and saying yes kept me open to those rich experiences.

The quickest way to bring living back into your life? Start saying yes to the opportunities which come your way.

The question I had to ask myself over time was, if I’m not saying yes to this and it’s not a ‘no’, then what am I saying?

Opening up with yes is where letting go begins and the outcomes will surprise and delight you in mysterious, yet beautiful ways.

I’m a big fan of vision boards and Danielle Laporte’s genius creation, “The Desire Map”.

When doing those things, I used to write about very specific experiences I wanted to have and material things that would be fun to interact with.

Most often than not though, I would get caught up in the form something would take, rather than surrendering my vision of how I thought it should be. I clung tightly and swore that opportunity wasn’t knocking because it took on the form of invitations that didn’t match the specifics. What I learned they did match however, was how I wanted to feel, long term.

Focusing more on how I wanted to feel, starting with the teaching of Abraham Hicks and coming to fruition through Danielle Laporte’s Desire Map, became my ultimate act of surrender.

Letting go of the way I thought it should all go (because in the end, it always ends up being awesome, regardless), released me from the burden of trying to be the one controlling how everything would happen to me. It freed up my time and energy so that I could enjoy and savor that particular moment. By way of those things I was able to keep my heart open to things I wanted to say yes, to.

There is no harm in having dreams, goals and ambitions. I’ve learned to get out of my own way, when I open myself up to the reality that life is like having a birthday every day. It’s a surprise party thrown by the Universe for all of us.

If a friend threw one we wouldn’t count the guests and lament their number. Nor would we look for gifts or other presents because the party itself is a gift. It is the gift, in many cases.

So why, if on a much smaller scale, with birthday parties, do we release and yet, the greatest invitation of all, our lives, do we insist on such specifics that lead us to a variety of no’s?

There is much.

There are many.

And chances are, you have it all and know them all anyway.

Say yes.

Take chances.

Savor every bit of the surprise parties the Universe throws for you every day.


On The Wings of Miracles,



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