I have a “thing” for journals and notebooks.
I use them mostly to write about the days events, though I primarily use them as “vision” journals.
It’s a pretty neat concept.
Having a journal dedicated solely to positive manifesting and whatever you write about in the journal gets surrendered in a state of, “So it is. All is well.” Once you write it down among the pages, you acknowledge that the Universe is on it and that you can stop worry so much about trying to make it happen.
I used to write pages and pages about the material objects, for which I yearned deeply.
Not out of greed, but because I was in the process of un-learning the habit of surrounding myself with things when I felt scared.
The “stuff” on those lists were a way I subconsciously protected myself from facing a fear that felt too overwhelming to face. Rather than ask my fear of losing important people in my life, “What are you here to teach me?” it would be so much easier to manifest a reality that allowed me to experience the world in such a way that those worries couldn’t cross my mind.
The truth of the matter, was that the more things I wanted, the more terrified I was of losing all of them.
With that kind of conflicted message, it’s no wonder I experienced such a huge gap between where I was and the abundance I was reaching for. How can it come if I’m dominated by such a great state of fear?
It does come, but its presence and the way that it comes, will only create more fear in my life if that’s what I’m focusing on primarily.
I reached for the objects themselves, more than the ways they would make me feel. For many months over the past year I found myself asking my inner guidance system, “Ok so I have that thing I always wanted, but now what? I have it and it feels like crap.”
Because I spent more time getting to the thing from a place of fear and negativity than I did in a joyous way. Not only that, but I spent less time getting to know what that beautiful fear had to teach me because I thought that having fear meant that I needed to run from it. Recurring fear however, is an invitation inward.
The funny thing is that the moment I realized why those fears were in my life, I felt more like a millionaire than I did when large sums of money made their way into my life.
Manifestation is a funny thing, in that we often get what we really long for and the things we thought were must haves become nice additions rather than emotional life or death situations. Our heartbeats cannot help but send signals out to the Universe of our deepest longings and most beautiful dreams.
Can we just take one moment to reiterate the beauty of that:
There is nothing you can do to stop good things from coming to you.
I wanted the experiences of a lifetime but I wasn’t ready to let them in. Not because I didn’t want them, but because I was using the gathering of experiences and things as a means to fill up holes that fear pierced through me, which I left unquestioned and largely unfilled.
Of course anything I received would look slightly different than how I envisioned it.
It’s because deep down I wanted the fear to stop more than I wanted the life I dreamed around them.
Whenever a manifestation or answered prayer in life isn’t quite what we’re wanting, it’s not that we didn’t want that particular experience, but that we’re being given a chance to see a small glimpse of how we were asking for it, before the “big show” of the real thing shows up in our lives. It’s an invitation to pay attention, in the most gentle of ways, though some can feel utterly heart wrenching because we focus more on the lack of what we want instead of the reality that we just got light years closer to it.
For one moment, suspend the list of things you want in your mind and ask yourself how you want to feel when you get there.
What purpose will that completed manifestation serve, once it makes its way to you?
How am I going to feel when I get that thing? What will feel different about my life once I have it and why am I not allowed to have that feeling before I get the things I’m wanting?
Sometimes, it’s just as simple as realizing that it will feel good and that is reason enough to want it there.
Right now I put the intention out into the Universe that I love the feeling of someone getting me flowers and that I would love it so much if someone did. Not because having them will allow me to do anything more than I can now, but just because it feels lovely to be thought of in such a sweet, innocent way. It is necessary? Not really, but I love the way it feels so I’m putting the intention out there and asking!
It’s okay to have “just because it feels rockin’!” desires. It’s equally important to use the gift of the pre-manifestation moment to dive head first into the nitty gritty details of why you want it.
Because that just feels so damn good!
Revel in the reasons why you desire it.
Welcome the surrender of the things you think you desire the most, so you can hear what your heart is really wanting.
There’s nothing to fear, and nothing can go “wrong”.
More often than not, asking why is the best part of the manifestation process.
On The Wings of Miracles,