Day 15: The Purpose of Relationships

Giving up certain aspects of your life so that they might be used for a higher purpose.

It sounds like such a religious experience, I know.

Though it’s far more practical than religious.

It is the moment you allow your relationships, friendships and family to be used for something more.

They become channels for peace, understanding and personal growth. Not just for the friend, couple or family, but also for those around them.

Surrender in relationships also says that you’re trusting in the Universe and are unafraid of the outcome because you know that no matter what happens, everything will work out for your benefit.

You allow yourself to become a channel for so much more.

You open yourself to the awareness that the friends you know, the partner you’re with and the family you cherish will all change at some point.

And you won’t hold that against them.


Surrender in these places means that you understand that your commitment to all of those people in your life has everything to do with the day at hand and what you can do with that.

Lofty promises are no longer interesting because you know that everyone around you is imperfect, but that those deep flaws are what adds such a sweeping beauty to the world. It also means that you recognize that you too, share those same flaws and the moment you extend compassion to another, is the moment you give it to yourself.

The goal is no longer merging with one another for fear of losing each other and finding ways to get your own needs met. It turns into moving towards the people in your life with the intent of listening to the contents of their hearts because you come from a place of security, knowing that it’s all taken care of and turning out perfectly.

That’s not to suggest that your needs are no longer important, but that you don’t have to keep others on the hook in order to have them met.

It’s no easy thing, saying, “My relationship, friendship, family is an offering and opportunity I’m giving you, Universe to grow love here. How can I use this well?”

The beauty is that you have no idea where that could possibly take you. That’s also the terrifying part about it.

You leave the comfort of familiarity far behind the moment the words leave your heart and mouth.

It speaks of a greater security and that you’ve done the work to get to a place of freedom for yourself because you know there is nothing you can do to stop your needs from being met all the time.

You understand that putting so much love into anything, can never impact you negatively because living from that much light is what casts out the darkness of fear.

So instead of asking why you’re not getting A, B and C from your partner; why your friend hasn’t called yet or asking why your family is that way, ask how you can give.

In any relationship, of any kind, the moment we feel depleted or lack is the time we need to give the most.

Because when we move towards the people in our lives like that, we surrender too, all the reasons we thought we had to move away.

We believe that we’re healing hurts in another, but what we’re really healing is the distance we perceive that hurts everyone. From that distance, we come to believe more in our differences than in the similarities that are the birthplace of our compassion. That is where we need to defend ourselves, that is where we require weapons. That is how we fight one another.

Bridge the gap by asking how you can be love.

It starts with the simple intention, “How can I be love here? How can I use this for love?”

And that is how we heal ourselves.

And with time, that is how we heal our planet.

It begins with a willingness to surrender the purpose you think all of those relationships served in your life and opening up to the possibility that there is so much more love they’re bringing to you and through you.

Now all that’s left is to take a step back and breathe in the gorgeous view.


On The Wings of Miracles,



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