I’ve a confession to make.
Lately, I’ve been terrified.
And it clouded my vision somewhat.
Not the kind of vision requiring eyes, but the bigger concept that allows you to hold where you are and where you want to be, in the same breath.
The bigger picture.
I took these past 31 days seriously. Sometimes too seriously.
I asked others to contribute on here and many couldn’t at the last minute and so I tried to fill in the gaps.
And in the midst of frantically trying to fill them in, I had to stop myself and remember that it’s not my job to save everything or do everything.
There is something to be said for the accomplishment of some goals.
Accomplishment here, became the uphill battle and the “something to prove”, which feels great when other people are looking, but that’s the important part: it requires other people looking.
When I started these 31 Days, I too, had something to prove. I needed to show people that I could finish them and that things which were said about me and in one case, directly to me weren’t true.
It stopped being about serving and started being about how to prove that I wasn’t what others were saying, one of them being that my attention span makes projects like these pretty much useless. I think of it as white noise from unimportant people (because important ones build you up rather than tear you down behind your back- something it took me a while to fully realize) most of the time, but it stuck, this time around, so that I finally had to deal with all of it.
And when it ceases to be about serving, it ceases altogether.
Inspiration grinds to a complete halt until you face the things which are the most likely to scare you into retreating into and away from your Self, your Source and the Light within you.
It was a relief when I let myself off the hook because I realized that it wasn’t my dream to do some things and that instead, I thought it would be a great idea and indeed, it was, until it stopped working.
Which is totally okay.
Now I feel a whole lot more free to really be of service instead of desperately needing the very thing I’m trying to write about: surrender.
It’s interesting how the very thing you try to write about becomes the thing you end up living with the greatest understanding.
There are still going to be regular updates on here, so no worries there.
Just wanted to quickly fill you, my Beloved readers, in on what’s been happening.
The love has been flowing and growing in momentum, so fear not.
It just needed to stay true to the course of freedom, authenticity and appreciation that it started with.
Stay tuned for more posts and some exciting updates as well.
Life is just so damn good to all of us, isn’t it?
Time to savor more of that.
On The Wings of Miracles,