Why We Don’t Need Bitches

A little something different.

One part rant.

One part rave.

We compare ourselves needlessly and endlessly to one another.

That’s no surprise to anyone alive and curious in this day and age.

We create extremes that polarize us so that we exist on either end of a spectrum then ask why we feel so lonely.

The comparison brings us down though it feels like up because for a moment,

rather than asking the question, “What if I’m not enough?”

We can stay safe in the details of answering questions of why they aren ‘t.

It’s often women comparing themselves to other women. At least this is all I hear about, because the information that finds me, relates to my being a woman, as I find it to be a pertinent part of my life. As far as I’m concerned though, all people do it, though when women do, it’s easier to market as news on the web or as noteworthy in print.

Walking through book stores is a pastime. It’s fitting that I’m employed by one.

I was putting books in their rightful homes on shelves and for the umpteenth time, saw the title, “Why Men Love Bitches” and for the first time in my life and my time at that store, I realized something.

When I compare myself to another in any way, I create worlds where there are bitches and good witches.

It ceases to be about whether people are just trying to make it through the day with what they know and as we are all aware, the tough stuff is the real bitch, if there must be one at all.

What have I done to create a world that categorizes me. Have I made myself the bitch? The goddess? The angel? The lover? The frump?

They’re all helpful archetypes for channelling strength we don’t realize we possess, which is a grand adventure and one I highly recommend. On a deeper level though, it has nothing to do with empowerment.

Titles like that and titles like those we give to other people give us permission to hate another person or think of them as less than because we don’t have what they want.

In order for a fellow woman to be a bitch, I first have to see her as something bitchy.

In this instance in particular, it turns women against one another.

And for what?

How much greater would our power be as women and as humans, if we worked together in this?

Oneness.

That little epiphany amongst the stacks had me asking more and more,

How am I creating the bitch in another person that I’m going to soon hate in myself? 

Because what I feel strongly against in another person, is simply a reflection of what I fear is true about me.

Maybe that’s the bigger truth.

It took me a few days to understand in that moment, that within each of us there is a book written which far surpasses the words and pages of any self-help or wellbeing book’s utility. Unlocked by experience and a willingness to stop for a moment and ask, “Why does it feel that way in me when it sits there?”

It’s also far less trendy than being about to tout which authors you’re currently reading.

But I’m filing it under life’s truths.

Because the Universe is waiting for us to quietly discover our own “David” in the mirror.

Why waste that energy asking questions which create a world where there are bitches.

And where there are saints.

Where we need either of the two.

Because at one point or another, you’ll spend a chunk of your life asking how to get to the neutral ground where you need not be either of the two.

Here’s to that soft neutral ground in which you plant your white flag.

And the moment you realize that who you are is enough.

Because, not to ruin the ending for you,

you are enough.

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On The Wings of Miracles,

~Cheryl~

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